You're The Flame That Burns Me So I Know That I'm Still Alive

Ahh great show!!

Okay so I just got back from the Better Than Nothing show...Freakin' awesome. Meriwether played first. Fantastic way to start. I had never heard of them before tonight really...and they were awesome. Hawthorne Heights came on after them. Honestly I didn't think they would come on second, but either way, they were amazing. Earshot came on after them, and they were good...they did a cover of Motorhead's "Ace of Spades" that was probably the best part of their performance. The music was good, but something about them, I don't know. Saving Abel was next. They were pretty good. I didn't think I would like them, but yeah. Pretty cool. 10 Years. They were awesome. They put up a good performance. Got the crowd going alot more than the other bands. That is....before..... The Offspring!!!! Wow...nothing I can say could possibly describe how perfect these guys perform. They played all their best songs, plus some new ones. Then they ended with Self Esteem. So cool. Overall, it was a great, solid show. All the bands were fantastic. I'm tired. Goodnight. <3

So it seems as if  I really haven't been on here in a long time...

I guess it's true...because I haven't. I think it may have been lack of interest...why? I don't know, but that was crazy because this place rules.

In time of my absense, I was able to see Good Charlotte, Metro Station, The Maine, and Boys Like Girls though. That was a great concert. :)

Sooooooooooooooooooooooo anywayssssssss, I am back.

Talk to me?

<3

Okay, well lets see, where to start. I'll start from last month when life was cool.

April 20th - Jeffree Star, Breathe Carolina, Schoolyard Heroes, and Dr. Manhattan.

Dr. Manhattan was cool...the guitarist dude looked like Mario. Hahaha, the people in the crowds there were pretty cool/funny.

I really liked Schoolyard Heroes. That chick goes crazy on stage, so yeah, it ruled.

Breathe Carolina was fun. We were right in front. I totally pulled the singer's hair. Pulled the other guy's finger. Then touched 1 of the other guys. It was kinda weird, because before JStar came out, they made us go outside. Which kinda sucked because we were right in the front. BUT! That made us the last ones out, which also made us the first ones back in. So nothing changed really. Haha, JStar was awesome though, he played all of his songs, then like...2 new ones. He's amazing live. Then only a few feet away, ahhh! Lots of crazy things happened that day. I just can't wait to go see another show there...possibly Millionaires? In June? Anyone with me? Haha. :D

Alrighty, then! There was April 28th - My Chemical Romance, Billy Talent, Drive By.

Of course, Drive By played first. They were okay...the crowd was pretty calm.

Then Billy Talent came out and totally kicked ass and pretty much wore out the crowd, yes. Everyone went crazy, pushing, shoving. Not sure why. We were in front then too, but like we got pushed back during BT. It just got crazy. They played all their cool songsss. Except for Fallen Leaves though. :(

Then MCR came out...got the entire crowd under control. By the time they came out though, we were way in the back, away from all the craziness. But yeah...they did get the crowd under control. They played alot of their songs. Even one from Bullets. Crazy huh? 

Ooo then when it was over, we were walking by the busses, and people were standing there, talking to Ian D'sa, (BT Guitarist). He was like...RIGHT THERE. Haha, I saw him get in the bus, that was so cool. He's awesome. ^^

That was one hell of a day.

The week of the 20th - 28th is definately a week I'll totally never forget.

<3

I've REALLY been thinking about writing a sequel for my story Brand New Life. And I actually think I'm gonna do it. If anyone cares...hahahaha. Either way, I still wanna do it. Mainly for the sanity of my cousin. xD Jk Sarah. But yeah...look out for a Sequel...

 

 

 

<3

I haven't wrote in here in a while. I guess I had nothing new to say......well I kinda do now.
Okay, so guess what! SHE is on the lawnmower (again), cutting grass!
Sounds simple, right? Wronggg. She woke me up again, this tim saying "The lawnmower's broken!" and I was thinking ".......there's no way, I just used it yesterday." So anyways, I went to go see, and she wasn't pressing down the clutch to start it, instead, she was pressing down the thing that picks up the blade deck. I got it started...She felt like a tard and says "Oh....I was pressing down the wrong one." I'm like, "yeah..."
And thennnnn, when she was going to start cutting, she was engaging the wrong thing. She was about to lock up the whole deck.
What's up with her and the blade deck? She's gonna kill that mower, I know it.
Oh well....that's life.....with HER. Btw...did anyone see that pic I added in the last journal about HER? I recommend you check it out. =D

K, so remember when I was talking about my twin? Well it seems like I forgot to mention that her name is Denise as well. AND, our moms have the same name too. Freaky huh? No, I'm not named after her, it's a complete coincidence. HAHA, how weird.

Okay, so at 9am this morning, SHE comes into my room and says "Hey Denise, can I cut some of the grass?" I was half asleep and said "Sure, I don't care." Then, at approximately 11am. SHE comes back inside, with HER head down and says "I did something bad." I thought, eh, it can't be too bad, right?......Wrong! SHE was done cutting grass, and was about to park the lawn mower, when SHE forgot to turn the blade off, which caused HER to run over the thick plastic mat that was on the ground, causing the thick plastic mat to get very tangled in the blade and completely under the deck.
After a nice 2 and a half hours of pulling, pushing, turning, forcing and cutting the mat with a power saw, and a small pair of wire cutters, we finally got it off. Poor lawn mower, I mean, the thing is new, it's not supposed to go through all that. But anyways, my dad and me came up with a conclusion to never...ever let my mom use the mower again.


And now, we are on our way out of town. Very long drive...very boring drive. Very. Don't get me wrong, it's great to get out of the house for a while, even if it's just for a couple days. The only disadvantage about going out of town, is that I miss Paul. =(

<3

Mhmm, so I'm sitting behind my twin...on this train. I swear, she's my twin, she looks just like me. Or I look just like her. She's my dad's second cousin..we had no intentions of seeing them here. We just did. It's not a bad thing at all, hella cool...just, weird, haha. I don't know. Just ignore me. A journal is a journal, I write whatever comes across my mind. Plus this train is hella boring. xD

<3

So I was walking to my mom's drawer to get something for her, right? Then, as I was walking back, I ran into the bedpost and banged the hell out of my hipbone. Huge bruise now...hurts like hell, yep. Can you say, dumbass? xD Owwy!!!!

<3

Hmm, yeah I don't think there's going to be a sequel to Brand New Life. Haha, just to let you guys know! I may be starting another story though...I don't know about who or what yet. I'll keep ya posted!

<3

Here are the rules! Copy and paste them at the start of yours too.

You'll always have celeb crushes!

Remember the "8 radom things about me" thing? Well it's basically the same thing.

1. You post your top 10 fantasy guys/girls

2. You tag 10 people

3. You CANNOT tag someone who has already been tagged

4. You have to let the people you tagged know that they've been tagged

5. These are the rules, they must be repeated every time

6. THERE MUST BE PHOTOS AT ALL TIMES!

 

10. Davey Havok

9. Adam Carson

8. Ray Toro

7. Frank Iero

6. Nick13

5. Benji Madden

 

4. Bob Bryar

 

3. Hunter Burgan

2. Gerard Way

1. Jade Puget

Would it be too late to do a Sequel for Brand New Life?...just a thought...

<3

1. I'm homeschooled because school sucks.

2. I name nearly everything I own just because it needs a name. For example: Paul, the Guitar and Milly the Lawnmower.

3. I am a very obsessive person, if I like something, beware.

4. I'm terrified of the dark.

5. I'm mean to small children because they're small children.

6. I'm very nice to certain old people, unless they're ugly.

7. My entire warddrobe consists of band t-shirts.

8. Last but not least, I'm a cat person. Gorda is staring at me now...she has a staring problem...but it's okay.

Well...I'm supposed to tag people by leaving a note, but I can't...so...hopefully they read this!

Blaqkwingsofhavok

Muzikfreak14

Jaredletosfantasy

Musicxloser

Missnegative

xxMcrmyxx

Parariot

Dizziemd

Going to sleep at 6am and Waking up at 8am sorta sucks, especially when you do it 3 days in a row. Yeah, I wouldn't recommend it. But, it's okay...well, it's not but sure. Long drives....lots of music....hurting thumbs (thanks to this lovely phone)....funny parents.....meeting new family members.....yeah, I guess you can say it's worth it.
Denizzle!

So, were on our way to Louisiana, as we speak. Another business trip that my parents see as a 'vacation' because they get to go gambling. Lets see, the only thing I look forward to is the free wireless high speed internet...I'm not used to the high speed thing, having dial-up and all, there's really no such thing as being able to watch videos from the computer. High speed is awesome, most of you guys that have it and are able to it available in your area, are very lucky for that, but just don't realize how lucky. Hmm now the last thing I need, is for the internet to be down at the hotel, haha, man that would suck.

xDenise

Today is the day of awards ceremony that the school is hosting. It’s this real fancy type deal so I have to get all dressed up, I hated getting dressed up, and so did Ger-. No, I’m not supposed to be thinking about him right now. I need to concentrate on why I’m here. It’s been two weeks since he’s been gone, I’ve just buried myself in books to try not to think about him, it was hard though. He hasn’t even called, but maybe it was for the best, I don’t know. The only person that I would actually talk to was Mikey, oh yeah, and mom of course. Mikey said Gerard hasn’t been acting himself at all lately. He seems to do that a lot when something’s bothering him. He said that all he’s been doing lately is moping around the house, not wanting to do anything. Only once in a while will he get up so they can practice at least. To me, it sounded like Mikey was trying to blame all of this on me…again.

 

 

I was thrown out of my thoughts when the phone rang here in my dorm room. Yes, I’m back at the dorm, there was no point in staying in the apartment by myself.

 

“Hello?” I answered.

 

“Hey” said Mikey, kind of whispering.

 

“What’s up?” I asked, glad to talk to him.

 

“It’s this new housekeeper, she’s a wreck!” he said.

 

“Ooh, sorry to hear that, what’s wrong?” I asked.

 

“Well first, she made us this huge dinner! Which sucked, and then she made us eat all of it!” he said, sounding outraged.

 

I laughed and said, “Oh come on, it can’t be that bad.”

 

“It’s hell! No, actually, it’s worse than hell. Because after that, she made us these apple pie things, and she made us eat all of those too, because “It’s not right to let food go to waste.” If it wasn’t right, well then why the hell did she make so damn much?!” he almost yelled. I could tell he was mad.

 

“Wow, well, I don’t know what to say, maybe you should just get rid of her.” I suggested.

 

“You know…I think I’ll do that, I’m gonna go right up to her, and say, Mary, you’re fired!” he said, loudly.

 

Just then I heard someone in the background say in a soft voice, “What? You’re going to fire me?” Then right after that, I heard a loud noise. “Uhh, I gotta go.” He said, hanging up the phone.

 

I couldn’t help but laugh at him, I mean, how much bad luck could this guy run into? He can’t even talk on the phone without something bad happening. Well, it seemed bad anyway, it’s not like he meant for her to hear him, now he has to fire her. Ooh poor Mikey, I wish I was there to see that.

 

Well, I have to start getting ready for this thing now, my roommate should have been here by now, but she’s never here. I doubt she’ll even make it to the ceremony because all she cares about is partying 24/7. I don’t exactly know how I got stuck with her, we’re complete opposites, but I guess that’s how it works sometimes.

 

[At The Ceremony]

 

Could this be anymore boring?! There has to be at least 5,000 students here, okay, I’m exaggerating, but they’re calling them up one by one, which I guess this couldn’t be done any other way, but still. As I was sitting there, I was watching as each student went up and accepted their certificates, and awards. Just my luck, someone’s name just had to be Gerard. When they called this “Gerard” guys name, I started thinking about him again. I had been trying so hard not to, but here I was, thinking about him. Wondering what I should do. If I should stay here for the rest of the year, or if I should go try and straighten things out between us. It was a tough decision, being that I made it this far already, but I think, deep down, I knew what I really wanted to do.

 

After the ceremony, I went back to my dorm, and sat there, staring at my certificate of completion. It was nice, they even framed it, pretty much everyone got one. It felt good knowing that it was earned. But aside feeling good, I still felt upset, maybe…because there was no one else to show the certificate to. My roommate wasn’t here, so I couldn’t show it to her. I could call my mom and tell her, but it wouldn’t be the same. I stayed there, thinking for a while, and again…I realized exactly what it was that I wanted to do.

 

I started packing some of my things, not all of them, just stuff that I needed, I left some stuff, along with a note to my roommate telling her she can have whatever’s left, I wasn’t going to need it anymore, being that I wasn’t planning on coming back. It’s pretty late already, but I’m sure there’s an open flight to Jersey…there has to be.

 

Lucky for me, there was a flight, I took a cab back here. I was glad to see his car in the driveway, and someone else’s, it must be one of the guys. Now I’m standing outside of Gerard’s house, pacing along the doorsteps, thinking about what I could say to him. Finally when I had something figured out, I knocked on the door. Frank answered.

 

“Oh hey!” he said, moving out of the way so I could walk in.

 

“Hi, it’s been a while!” I said, smiling.

 

“Yeah, it has, so you doing okay?” he asked.

 

“Yeah, fine, just came to see Gerard…is he here?” I asked

 

“Oh yeah, “Gerard!! Someone’s at the door.”” he yelled.

 

“Who is it?” he said, walking out from the kitchen, he looked up and saw me and quietly said, “Denise.”

 

“Well, I guess I’ll go, see you guys later!” said Frank, walking out the door.

 

“Yeah bye!” I told him, Gerard just nodded.

 

“So…” I said to Gerard.

 

“So what are you doing here?” he asked.

 

“Well, I heard you were looking for a housekeeper.” I said

 

“Yeah…so what are you doing here?” he asked, confused.

 

“I uhh, heard you were looking for a housekeeper?” I said again, smiling.

 

“Oh yeah, well, that’s true, but really though, I thought…” he started to say, but then I stopped him by cutting in.

 

“We both thought wrong. I was doing a lot of thinking over there, and I came to the conclusion that it’s better if I just tried to get into some school in the area again, because you know, it was weird being, ‘out of the area’… ‘in the area’ is better.” I said, laughing a little, trying to break the tension.

 

“I see, it’s great that you’re back and everything, I mean, I missed you like crazy, but I just don’t want you to regret-” I stopped him again.

 

I shook my head and said, “The only thing I regret is being without you.”

 

He looked at me and smiled, then said, “So…about the job…what are your qualifications?”

 

I acted like I thought about it for a second, “Well, hmm. Let’s see.” I leaned forward and kissed him.

 

A few moments later, he pulled away and said, “You got the job.”

 

I laughed and said, “No kidding” pulling him into another kiss.

 

THE END

 

______________________________________________________________________________

You know, I don't think, I could thank you guys enough for reading this. But I just really hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. It was fun, and an awesome experience that all of you have made really cool for me. It's encouraged me alot, to maybe even write more for this particular story. Maybe. Anyways, thanks again, I love you all!

 

<3 Denise

“Where’s my jacket?” Gerard asked me.

 

“Well, where did you leave it?” I asked back.

 

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you.” He said.

 

“Check the closet.” I replied.

 

“Nah, it’s okay, I don’t need it that bad.” He said, walking to the other room.

 

We have been living in this apartment for a couple months now and it seems like Gerard just has to lose or misplace something everyday. Or if it’s not misplaced, he’s just too lazy to go get it. Other than that, it’s been great minus the fact that Gerard has been acting a little weird lately. If I ask him if everything’s alright, he replies with “Yeah everything’s fine” and then just changes the subject, whatever that means.

 

Samantha is staying here with us too, which is great, that way Gerard won’t be alone all day when I’m at school. Mikey’s alone though, well not really because he has the guys, but still, he’s alone…he says he’s looking for a housekeeper because he’s trying to “follow in the footsteps of his brother.” He’s so nice.

 

 I’m on my second semester in school. Somehow, Gerard managed to talk me into staying for another one. I’m even thinking about maybe just finishing a year, since I’ve made it this far already. This second semester was just about over and for the end of the semester, they’re going to give out certificates at the awards ceremony that the school is going to hold. I’m looking forward to that.

But if I do stay for the rest of the year, Gerard would have to go back home for a while which is okay, I don’t mind at all. I’ve been trying to get him to go back sooner, but he says he doesn’t need to. He goes only when they need him to do something.

 

I was getting a little bored here, so I went to go look for Gerard.

 

“Hey, you wanna go out and do something tonight?” I asked him

 

“Do what? There’s nothing to do in this town.” He said, reclining more in his chair.

 

“Well, we can go out and look for something to do, I mean it’ll be more than what we’re doing here.” I told him.

 

“Yeah, well, if you wanna do something so bad, then you go.”

 

I started to walk away, when he came behind me and said,

 

“Look, I’m sorry, you wanna go out and do something, we’ll go out and do something.” He said, smiling.

 

“No, it’s okay, you’re right, there isn’t anything to do here.” I replied.

 

“Well that’s not exactly what I meant, I mean I’m sure there’s something to do around here, I just don’t know what yet. Maybe we can go out to eat or something.” He suggested.

 

“Nah, not hungry.” I said.

 

“How about, we go for a walk?”

 

“Too tired.”  I replied

 

“Well fine, how about we just sit here and slip quietly into a coma?!” he said, sounding a little annoyed.

 

“No thanks.” I said, walking away again.

 

“Oh and you’re saying I’m the one that never likes to do anything?” he asked.

 

“Yes Gerard, that’s exactly what I’m saying.” I replied, sort of sarcastically.

 

Now it was his turn to walk away. He went back to go sit on his recliner, to go watch TV.

I don’t know if it was just me, but it seemed like Gerard and I were getting into more and more arguments the closer it came to the wedding. It was starting to scare me a little bit, but then again, it’s normal to have arguments in a relationship, but some of these were just not necessary at all. It made no sense to argue about some of the little things that really don’t even matter, but yet we would. I finally decided it was time Gerard and I needed to have a talk.

 

“Gerard, we need to talk.” I said, sitting down next to him.

 

“About what?” he asked, turning off the TV.

 

“About us, I mean, haven’t you noticed what’s been going on lately?” I asked.

 

“I guess…” he said.

 

“Well, why are we doing this?” I asked him.

 

“I don’t know…it’s just that…well, when we moved in here, I had a little trouble adjusting to it.”

 

“You’re still having trouble.” I mumbled.

 

“Yeah…I am. I’m just…not sure if I can do this.”

 

“Do what?” I asked, concerned.

 

“This!” he said, pointing around the room. “Getting used to it here, in this town, I’m not used to everything going so perfectly around me, I’m used to the city, I’m used to the way things work, and I like it there, I like the pressure that I’m always under, it’s just what makes me, me!” he practically yelled.

 

“I see…well it was your idea to move out here in the first place.” I said.

 

“Yeah I know, but, now…I just, don’t know if I can handle this.”

 

“Ohh.” Was all I could say. “So, what are you saying? We can’t make this work?” I asked, scared, with tears stinging my eyes.

 

“I’m sorry.” He said, shaking his head, walking to the bedroom.

 

I went to the kitchen and sat at the table, looking out the window, thinking about what just happened. Later, I went into the bedroom and saw Gerard packing, I just stood at the doorway watching, completely confused at what I should do. I couldn’t stop him, it was obvious he wanted his old life back. I wasn’t going to take that from him, all I could do, was watch him leave and wonder what to do next.

Almost 3 months of constant traveling from New Jersey to Iowa was finally starting to tire out Gerard. Instead of visiting every weekend, it’s been every two weeks like we said it would be in the beginning. This was okay because at least we would still talk on the phone every day. I would also talk to Mikey every once in a while too. He said they were looking for another housekeeper because they were having trouble using the vacuum. If you ask me, they’re just being lazy, and don’t like cleaning. But then again, who does? Oh wait, I once did.

 

Anyways, it’s a Friday afternoon, and I’m sitting here with a book shoved in my face, trying to study for this test I have on Monday. Being that the first semester is almost over, we have a ton of exams. Pretty sucky for just one semester into this whole thing. Only problem, was that I couldn’t really concentrate. I kept thinking about Gerard. I really wanted to see him, and we weren’t supposed to see each other for another week! I couldn’t wait that long. So I had an idea.

 

[Later]

 

I’m here at the airport, about to fly home to New Jersey and pay Gerard and everyone else a surprise visit.  Like every weekend, the airport was packed. But there was a difference between the airport here, and the airport in Jersey. The people here in Iowa were much nicer. For how busy it was, I was a little worried that maybe I wouldn’t be able to catch a flight today.

 

After about an hour of being in line, I was glad to find out that there was a flight available. But it wasn’t until 6pm. It was 4pm now. I just found a place to sit down and wait in the crowded airport for two hours. In that time, I did some studying in my text books, I wasn’t able to do much with all the noise, but it was okay. The time seemed to have been going by pretty fast, before I knew it, I heard an announcement saying that the flight to New Jersey was boarding. I put the books back in my backpack and squeezed my way through all the people to get to the plane.

 

I was relieved when I heard how quiet it was on there. Finally, I could have peace and quiet, so I could study, and peace of mind knowing I’m going to see Gerard soon, and everyone else. As soon as I started reading in one of my books, a baby starts crying. “Just my luck” I thought to myself. I knew everything seemed to be too perfect. It’s okay, it was just a baby crying…not the end of the world. He’ll stop crying soon…right?

 

Wrong! 45 minutes into this damn flight and he’s still crying. Okay, poor kid, yeah, but jeez! How much crying can one baby do? Apparently, I was about to find out. For the rest of the flight, I just listened to music. Gerard gave me one of their demo CD’s with a couple of their new songs on it. The sound of his voice drowned out the cry of the annoying baby.

 

20 minutes later, we’re landing, finally. The baby was just starting to stop crying,  thankfully. As soon as we got off the plane, I had to go to baggage claim. I only had one small bag, I don’t know why they wouldn’t let me bring on the plane. Now I had to wait for it, it seemed to take forever, but obviously it didn’t.

 

When I finally got my bag, I started walking towards the exit when I heard someone say, “Denise”. I shrugged it off and thought that there’s probably a lot of Denise’s in here, and kept walking. Then I heard it again, the voice sounded oddly familiar. But again, I just continued to walk. A few steps later, I felt someone tap on my shoulder. “Denise?” they said

 

I turned to see Mikey and Samantha.

 

“Denise! What the hell are you doing here?!” he asked, shocked.

 

“Came to see you guys!” I said, smiling. “What are you doing here?” I asked, confused at the look on his face.

 

“Gerard just…he went…he just…” he stuttered, in a panicking way, pointing out in the direction of the boarding flights.

 

“Mikey, calm down! Did Gerard just board one of those flights?” I asked, confused and shocked.

 

He nodded…”The one to Iowa” he said.

 

“Damn! Wait, how long ago did he leave?” I asked quickly.

 

He shook his head. “It’s too late now. He was going to try to surprise you.” He said.

 

“How the hell would is it, that we wanted to try to surprise each other on the same day?” I said, laughing a little.

 

He laughed and said, “Well you know Gerard, he’s full of surprises.”

 

“Yeah, so what do we do now?” I asked.

 

“I guess we go home and wait for Gerard to call and tell us he landed.”

 

“Oh yeah, and when he calls, I can answer the phone, that’ll shock him!” I said, still laughing.

 

When we got the house, right before Mikey opened the door. He said, “Well, the house looks a little different, you may be a little shocked.” Just then, he opened the door. There were toys everywhere, just scattered all over the floor. Dishes, were piled higher than the sink can hold. Clothes were just thrown all over the place. “Mikey, what, the hell happened here?!” I asked, shocked, just like he said I would be.

 

“I told you! Plus, we weren’t exactly planning on having visitors today.” he said, kicking some stuff out of the way to give us walking space.

 

“Oh yeah, sorry, anyways, you need some help around here?” I asked, looking around.

 

“Nah, it’s okay, you’re the guest, I’ll get it. Have a seat.” He said, still moving stuff out of the way to get to the couch.

 

I ended up helping him anyway, with all the dishes and stuff. Pretty soon the house started looking more like…a house. Almost like the way it did when I left. I couldn’t believe that they couldn’t find a housekeeper. Hopefully they would find one though, they really needed the help.

 

Mikey was vacuuming when the phone rang. He didn’t hear the phone ringing so I picked up a random toy and threw it at him. Samantha thought that was pretty funny. Mikey saw the caller ID, and told me to answer it…it was Gerard. When I answered the phone, he seemed to be really confused, but he didn’t really show it. He probably thought he just dialed the wrong number or something. After we hung up the first time, he called the house again. Once again, I answered. It was really hard trying not to laugh, but Mikey couldn’t hold it in and he just burst out laughing, which made Gerard quickly figure out what was going on. Well, not quickly…first he thought we were in a 3-way chat, but that’s a different story.

 

The good thing is Gerard is on his way back home. Or at least he will be when he gets another flight in a couple hours. If he even can, it’s almost 10pm already. That wouldn’t be too cool if he had to stay the night over there.

At 10:30pm, Gerard called with great news and said he has a flight at 11:15pm, and he’ll probably be home around 1:30am or so. He just wanted to make sure we didn’t wait up for him and worry I guess. So since he didn’t want us waiting up on him, we just decided to go to sleep.

 

In the middle of the night, I heard someone knocking at my door. “Denise?” Gerard said, slowly opening the door. “What?” I mumbled, half asleep. “Are you awake?” he asked.

“I am now. What time is it?” I asked, sleepily.

 

“It’s almost 2 in the morning.” He replied.

 

“Goodnight!” I said, slamming my head back into the pillow.

 

“Wait, I kind of need to talk to you.” He said, walking over to my bed and sitting down on the edge of it.

 

As much as I have been wanting to see him, and talk to him, I really didn’t feel like right now. “About?” I asked, trying to wake up enough to actually listen to him.

 

“Well…when I was on the plane, I was thinking about all of this, and then this little mishap that just happened, and I was thinking…maybe there’s something we could do to make this…not happen again.” He said, kind of laughing.

 

“Like what?” I asked, sitting up.

 

“Maybe, I could move over there to Iowa with you, we could get an apartment.” He said.

 

“Oh Gerard, I couldn’t ask you to do that! You have to be here, with the band, and your music.” I told him.

 

“They don’t need me right now, we just got done with all the major stuff, everyone’s on a little break right now, and we can just try that at least until this semester is over.” He said, sounding like he actually wanted to do this.

 

“But I don’t want you to…” I began, but then got cut off by him pressing a finger to my lips.

 

“I want to.” He said, smiling.

 

I thought about it for a minute, and asked “Are you sure?”

 

“I wouldn’t have came up with the idea if I wasn’t sure!” he said, laughing.

 

“Shouldn’t you at least tell the guys first?” I asked him.

 

“Nah, I’m old enough to do what I want.” He said, smiling again.

 

I smiled back and said, “Okay, well I guess we can go back Sunday, and start looking for an apartment. There’s one that’s really close to the school, we can check there first.”

 

“Sounds great!” he said, pulling me into a hug.

 

In the last couple of days, I’ve been thinking really hard about what I’m going to study for. I still didn’t know, Gerard suggested that I should take and study psychology, I liked that idea, so I might just do that.

 

Today was the last day Gerard and I would see each other for 2 whole weeks. We’ve been separated for almost 4 months when he had to go on tour, but it was different then, because we weren’t together. But at least I would still see Gerard every two weeks, I wouldn’t be able to see Mikey, or Samantha, or mom. Unless they came and gave me a surprise visit, that would be nice. Another thing I’ll miss, is hearing the guys come up with new music. Maybe Gerard will be nice and bring me a demo tape every once in a while when they make a new song. He better.

 

[The Next Day]

 

Gerard, mom, Mikey and Samantha all came along to take me to the airport.

 

“Well, this is it.” I said, as we arrived to the airport parking lot.

 

“I’m going to miss you so much.” Gerard said, holding my hand.

 

“I’m going to miss you too.” I said, leaning over to give him a quick kiss.

 

“There’s kids back here you know.” Said Mikey, from the backseat.

 

“Oh yeah, sorry Mike, I forgot about you” Gerard told his younger brother, sarcastically.

 

Mikey just shot him the finger and got out of the car.

When we got into the airport, the entire place was completely packed. Everyone was walking sideways everywhere just to get through.

 

After an hour of us just sitting and standing around, talking and after all the random people going up to Gerard and Mikey, asking for autographs, it was finally time for me to go. I said bye to Mikey, little Samantha, and mom, by the time I got to Gerard, I had tears stinging my eyes already. I know I wasn’t going away forever, but it felt like it.

 

“I’ll see you this weekend.” Gerard said, pulling me into a tight hug.

 

“This weekend? But I thought…” I began, but got cut off by Gerard saying,

 

“You thought wrong, two weeks is too long to wait.”

 

I smiled and said, “I love you.”

 

“I love you too” he said, kissing me.

 

Just then, someone flashed a camera right in front of our faces. “What a loser!” Gerard said. I laughed, then realized I had a plane to catch. “I should go.” I said. He nodded. We said bye…again, and I was on my way.

 

[1 Week Later]

 

I was sitting at my desk in the dorm room, reading my text book on the basics of psychology when I heard someone knocking on the door. I thought for sure it was going to be my roommate, but it wasn’t. It was Gerard. I was surprised to see him because he was a day early.

 

“Hi” he said, smiling.

 

“Gerard!” I exclaimed, jumping into his arms. “What are you doing here?” I asked.

 

“Oh I was in the neighborhood, and-”

 

“Cut the crap” I said, laughing at him.

 

“What? I can’t just pay a surprise visit?” he asked, pretending to be sad.

 

“Of course you can!” I replied.

 

“So…what’s there to do for fun here in Iowa?” he asked.

 

“Study!” I said sarcastically, holding up a text book.

 

“No thanks, but really, is that all you do?” he asked.

 

“Well, that’s all I’ve been doing, it’s only been a week, I haven’t exactly had time to go and venture out on the place yet.” I said.

 

“Oh, right. Hmm, well lets go out and do something! I’m bored.” He said.

 

“You’re bored? You just got here!” I said, throwing a pillow at him.

 

“I know, and I’m bored” he whined.

 

“Okay, fine, lets go out and see what this town has to offer I guess.” I said.

 

“Great! Lets go.”

 

 

That night, Gerard and I drove around most of the town, just talking about what’s happened in the passed week. Not much has changed at all, but yet we still never ran out of things to talk about. On the way, we found a nice little diner to eat at, they served old fashioned home cooking food. Also along the way, we sort of figured out that Iowa had quite a few towns like this one, and this one, was a lot like the country. There were a few farms here and there, along with a lot of antique shops, and things like that. Their “malls” were of just a few old small stores. Just seeing the way this town was and how the people lived, made me like it a little more.

 

It started getting late, so I asked Gerard to take me back to my dorm. Since he obviously couldn’t stay there with me, he got a room and a nearby hotel. Since tomorrow’s Saturday, I guess we’ll probably be exploring the town some more then.

I couldn’t believe we were actually on our way to Iowa. Gerard talked me into it, but then again, he didn’t. Because in a way, I kind of wanted to come see what this school has to offer. Right now, we were in a plane, supposed to land in about 20 minutes. It was only a 1 and a half hour flight.

 

When we finally arrived at the college, it was huge! I had never seen a college that was that big or that nice.

 

“Wow” Gerard, mom (yes she had to come too) and Mikey said at the same time. I was thinking it, but I didn’t want to say it.

 

“It’s…nice” I said, pretending to not be interested.

 

“Well lets go inside, they should be waiting for us.” Said Gerard.

 

“Waiting for us? What do you mean?” I asked, confused.

 

“I called earlier and told them we were coming by to check out the place, I also asked if we could get someone to show us around.” He said.

 

“Great” I said, walking up to the building.

 

When we finally got up to the huge campus doors, Gerard opened them. The place was incredibly huge. We walked in to the main office, Gerard started talking to someone while Mikey, Samantha and me continued looking around. There were all kinds of certificates on the walls, and things like that.

 

“Right this way” some guy said.

 

“I’m Robert, and I’ll be showing you around.” He said, reaching out to shake my hand.

 

“Nice to meet you” I said, smiling.

 

“I’m Gracie” said mom, in a flirty way. I nudged her in the side.

 

Robert showed us all the different classrooms, the library, the labs, and every other room you could think of. And every one of the rooms impressed me, but yet, all I could say is “Nice”. Gerard would look at me like I was crazy, and at the time, I felt crazy for not just saying how much I liked it there. The last rooms that we had to look at, were the dorms, so that’s where we were headed.

 

“And these, are the dorm rooms.” He said, opening one of the empty rooms.

 

“Whoa” said Mikey, mom and Gerard at the same time, again.

 

“You haven’t seen nothing yet, check out the view!” said Robert.

 

He slowly opened the curtain, exposing a breathtaking view of a pond, trees, and beautifully landscaped green grass. I loved it there, a lot, almost too much.

 

“So what do you guys think?” Robert asked.

 

“It’s amazing” said mom. “It really is!” said Gerard. Mikey just nodded.

 

“It’s nice” is all I said again.

 

“I’ll leave you guys to decide on what you’re going to do.” Robert said, walking out of the room.

 

“Thanks for your help.” I told him

 

“So…” Gerard said.

 

“So what?” I asked.

 

“What do you think?” he asked.

 

“It’s nice.” I said.

 

“What do you mean “nice”? It’s way more than that!” he said.

 

He was right, it was way more than that. But I didn’t want him to know that I thought that. He was catching on though, he can see right through me.

 

“I guess.” I said.

 

“Is that all you have to say? I mean, can you honestly look at me and say that you don’t love it here?” he asked.

 

“No” I mumbled.

 

“I didn’t think so.” He said.

 

“I still don’t want to go to school here. It’s too far!” I said.

 

“Don’t worry about that! We can make it work, lots of people have long distance relationships!” he said.

 

“Yeah, that’s true.” I said, thinking about it.

 

“See, we can take turns visiting each other every other weekend, it’ll work out great.” He said.

 

“So…you think I should accept this?” I asked him

 

“Yeah, this is a great opportunity for you, an opportunity of a lifetime, I mean, look at this place! You shouldn’t let it pass you up at all.” He said.

 

“Hmm, well…I guess I could try it out for a semester or so.” I said

 

“Great! I guess we should give Robert your answer then.” He said.

 

“I guess we should.” I said, smiling.

 

After we talked to Robert, and a few other people there at the campus, we left. We had rented a suite at a near by hotel. Me and mom shared a bed, Gerard and Sam shared the other one…Mikey slept on the couch after he lost a bet that he and Gerard made.

 

 Tomorrow we would go sight-seeing a little bit before we head back home so I could start packing some things that I would need.